the reality of developing real communication skills
Clare Haynes highlights the difficulties of not making sufficient time for conversations in the workplace.
Your manager turns up to meetings looking like a rabbit in headlights. They're technically strong, but new to management.
And they’re already hiding what they don’t know.
They need development and you’ve been given 9 bullet points. These bullets include critical thinking in relation to their specific area, learning to delegate, presenting on behalf of the wider team, handling AI in their role and with their team, project management planning, and team motivation and development.
And you want this to be done in 12 weeks, for the cost of one person's low-priced package holiday in school holidays.
Let’s get something straight:
Learning is very much two steps forward and one step back.
Real development occurs over many months. You didn’t learn GCSE Maths in 12 weeks. In fact, teachers started preparing you 12 years before.
To really unravel the model someone works with, and re-jig it to work better for them, is not a few-sessions fast-fix. It’s not superglue (nor would you want it to be, because you know the amount of trouble you can get into if that stuff strays even a millimetre).
To put the actions into practice needs opportunity. Not everything we’re going to work on is going to raise its ugly head within a week or so.
Then it’s going to take more than one attempt. Often a few more, as things get refined and feel less robotic.
I was mulling this over whilst I was eating a simple jacket potato; I’m often asked to build something huge, complex and sturdy, on low budget and little time.
Chefs don’t stick something in the oven (or microwave if you’re a jacket-spud sinner) and throw on a topping and serve up something Michelin-starred. They’ve (literally) sweated for years perfecting methods.
It’s like trying to build a pyramid with one Lego brick (other building blocks that also hurt to stand on by accident are available). It may be colourful and have potential but alone it’s not enough.
Bosses need to allocate both budget and more of themselves in the development of their team.
The problem is insufficient communication and seeking a quick fix, delegated elsewhere.
A manager needs to manage. A leader needs to lead. Electronic communication doesn’t cut it and talking takes time. Like skills-development.
It doesn’t mean it won’t be fast, it just means it’s not a problem to solve like a tech glitch, a wrongly-written code, or a mistake in reporting. It’s not a “one and done”.
Let’s talk realistic options and case studies to give you a fuller picture, whether you’re planning a coaching or training programme or combo of the two.
Difficult conversations: Want to know the cost of silence? See the stats.
P.S. If you’re struggling with a difficult conversation then remember that the steps are simpler than putting it off. See the contact page.
“If you’ve met Clare, you’ll never forget her. She’s so wonderfully different that it’s disarming, and that makes her so easy to approach and engage with.
Clare quickly got to the nub of the issue and provided me with simple, practical advice. Clare has clearly dealt with so many senior people facing such wide-ranging issues that we, as individuals, may face only once or twice in our careers - that’s the power Clare has.”